What can make a great parent?
A good parent is a person who strives to make choices in the most effective interest of the child.
What can make a fantastic parent isn't just defined by the parent 's actions, but also their intention.
A good parent doesn't have to be ideal. Nobody is perfect. No child is perfect either … keeping this in your mind is important when we set our expectations.
Profitable parenting is not about achieving perfection. But it doesn't mean that we shouldn't work to that goal. Set high standards for ourselves then and first the children of ours second. We serve as role models that are important for them.
Top Ten Parenting Tips
Here are ten tips that can help you be an even better parent, learn great parenting skills, and avoid bad parenting.
Some are not easy or fast.
It's unlikely that any person is able to do them on a regular basis.
Nevertheless, even in case you only do a part of these tips in this parenting guidebook, you'll be moving in the correct direction if you continue working on them.
#1 BE A good Role MODEL
Walk the walk. Do not just tell the child of yours what you want them to do.
The best way to teach is to show them.
Human is a special species in part because we can learn by imitation. We're programmed to copy others' actions, comprehend them, and integrate them into our own. Children, particularly, watch everything the parents of theirs do very carefully.
So, function as the individual you want the child of yours to be - respect your kid, show them good behavior and attitude, have empathy towards your child's emotion - as well as your child will follow suit.
#2: Love THEM And Show them Through ACTION
Demonstrate the love of yours.
There is simply no such thing as loving the child of yours a lot of. To love them cannot spoil them.
Only what you decide to do (or give) in the name of love may - things as material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of love that is real, that's when you'll have a spoiled child.
To love the child of yours can be as easy as giving them hugs, spending quality time with them, having family meals together, and also hearing your child's problems seriously.
Showing these acts of love is able to trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can provide us a deep sense of contentment, emotional warmth, and calm; from these, the child, will develop resilience and also not to mention a closer connection with you.
#3: Practice Kind And Firm POSITIVE PARENTING
Infants are born with around hundred billion brain cells (neurons) with comparatively few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive the actions of ours, shape our personalities, and essentially determine who we are. They're "sculpted", strengthened, and created through life experiences.
Give the child of yours positive family interaction, particularly in the beginning years. They'll then be equipped to see positive experiences themselves and also provide them to others.
But if you give your child negative experiences, they will not have the development type necessary for them to thrive.
Sing that silly song. Have a tickle marathon. Go on the park. Laugh with the child of yours. Give them good attention. Ride with an emotional tantrum with them. Solve an issue together with an optimistic mind-set.
These positive experiences produce good neural connections in your child's brain and form the memories of you that your kid carries for life.
With regards to discipline, it seems difficult to remain positive, particularly when dealing with behavior problems. But it is possible by using positive discipline and avoiding strong discipline.
Being a good parent means you have to teach the child of yours the morals of what's right and what's wrong.
Setting limits and being consistent will be the golden rule to discipline that is good. Be firm and kind when you establish rules and enforce them. Concentrate on the reason behind the child's misbehavior. And make it a chance for them to learn for the future in a good manner, instead of to get penalized for the past.
#4: Be a Safe HAVEN FOR YOUR CHILD
Tey letting the child of yours know that you'll remain there for them by being responsive to your child's signals and sensitive to the needs of theirs. Support and accept the child of yours as an individual. Be a warm and safe place for the child of yours to explore from and return to.
Kids raised by parents who are constantly responsive have much better psychological regulation development, social skills development, along with mental health outcomes.
#5: Talk with The CHILD of yours And Help THEIR BRAINS INTEGRATE
Many of us already know the value of communication. Talk to your child as well as listen to them carefully. By maintaining an open line of communication, you'll have a better connection with the child of yours as well as your kid may come to you when there is a problem.
But there is another reason behind communication. You help your child integrate various parts of their brain, a crucial process in a child's development.
Integration is similar to the body of ours, in which different organs must coordinate and work in concert to maintain a trully healthy body. When various parts of the brain are incorporated, they can function harmoniously as an entire, which means fewer tantrums, much more good behavior, more empathy, and better psychological well-being.
To do that, talk through troubling experiences. Ask your child to describe what happened and how they felt to develop attuned communication.
You do not need to provide solutions. You don't need to have all of the answers to become a good parent. Just listening to them talk. Ask clarifying questions using words that are simple will help them make sense of the experiences of theirs and integrate their memories.
#6: Reflect on Your own personal CHILDHOOD
A lot of us wish to parent differently from the parents of ours. Even people who had an excellent upbringing and a thankful childhood may wish to change some elements of the way they were brought up.
But really frequently, when we open the mouths of ours, we speak just like the own parents of ours did.
Reflecting on our own childhood is a step towards understanding why we parent how we do. Make note of things you would like to change and think of just how you would get it done differently in a real scenario. Attempt to be aware and change your behavior the next time those issues come up.
Don't give up in case you don't succeed in the beginning. It will take practice, a lot of practice to consciously change one 's child-rearing methods.
#7: Focus on Your own WELL-BEING
Parents need relief too.
Give consideration to your own well-being to prevent parental burnout.
Oftentimes, things including the own needs of yours or the health of the marriage of yours are kept on the back burner when a kid is born. When you don't take note of them, they are going to become bigger problems down the road. Take time to enhance your relationship with your spouse.
Stressed-out parents are more prone to fighting. Don't be afraid to ask for parenting assistance. Having some "me time" for self-care and stress management is crucial to rejuvenate the mind.
How parents take proper care of the child of theirs mentally and physically can make a big difference in their parenting and family life. If these two areas fail, your child will suffer, too.
#8: Do not SPANK, NO MATTER WHAT
No doubt, to some parents, spanking is able to result in short term compliance which sometimes is a much needed help for the parents.
Nevertheless, this method does not teach the kid right from wrong. It only teaches the child to fear external consequences. The child is then motivated to avoid getting caught with behavior that is inappropriate.
Spanking your child is modeling to your child that he/she is able to resolve issues by violence. A child who's spanked, smacked, or maybe hit is much more vulnerable to fighting along with other children. They're more likely in order to become bullies and to use verbal/physical aggression to solve disputes.
Later on in life, they are additionally far more likely to result in oppositional behavior and delinquency, worse parent child human relationships, mental health issues, and domestic violence victims or even abusers.
You will find a variety of better options to discipline which have been shown to be more effective, such as positive discipline (Tip #3 above positive reinforcement and).
#9: Keep Things In Perspective And remember YOUR PARENTING GOAL
What's your goal in raising a child?
When you are like the majority of parents, you want your child to do well in college, be prosperous, be responsible and independent, be respectful, enjoy good relationships along with you and others, be caring and compassionate, plus have a happy, healthy and fulfilling life.
But how much time do you spend working towards those goals?
When you are like the majority of parents, you probably spend the majority of the time simply trying getting through the day. As authors, Siegel and Bryson, point out in the book of theirs, The Whole Brain child, rather than helping your kid thrive, you spend most of time just attempting to survive!
To not let the survival mode dominate the life of yours, next time you're feeling angry or frustrated, step back. Think about what anger and frustration will do for you or the child of yours.
Instead, find ways to switch every negative experience into a learning opportunity for them. Even epic tantrums can be turned into invaluable brain-sculpting moments if you focus on teaching the child of yours, not attempting to control them.
#10: Take a SHORTCUT Through the use of Findings In Latest PSYCHOLOGY And NEUROSCIENCE RESEARCH
By shortcuts, I don't mean shortchanging your child with tricks. What I mean is to take advantage of what's currently known by scientists.
To parent is among the most researched fields in psychology. Many parenting techniques, practices, or traditions were scientifically researched, refined, verified, or refuted.
For optimum parenting advice for raising a child and information which are supported by science, here is one of my personal favorite science based parenting books, The Science of Parenting.
Using medical knowledge is of course not really a one-size-fits-all strategy. Every child is different. Even within the very best parenting style, there can be many different good parenting methods you can choose according to your child's temperament.
A very good example is using spanking to discipline. There are numerous better alternatives, time-in, reasoning, e.g. redirection, etc. You can choose a non-punitive discipline method that actually works best for your child.
Naturally, you can additionally decide to use "traditional" or maybe "old school" parenting styles (e.g. punishing or spanking) and might still buy a "similar" outcome.
Differential susceptibility has shown us that kids with various temperaments react to the quality of parenting differently.
Those people who are more susceptible to parenting quality will have much better outcomes under good parenting but even worse outcomes under bad parenting.
Those people who are much less prone may "turn out fine" no matter how strong their parents treat them. But it doesn't imply those practices are good. These children are merely lucky. They can thrive despite poor parenting, not because of it.
Why take a possibility with sub-par parenting practices if you can use well-researched, better ones?
The value of parenting cannot be underestimated. Taking science based parental advice may not be the simplest way to parent. It might require more work on the part of yours in the short term but can help you save lots of time and agony in the long https://parentinghowto.com/ run.
Final Thoughts On Parenting
The great thing is, that although parenting is difficult, it's also really rewarding. The bad part is the rewards typically come later than the hard work. But in case we try our best now, we will ultimately reap the rewards and have absolutely nothing to regret.
To Happy Parenting!